Sanct Nito

went to church earlier this evening, and i couldnt help but notice the photocopied notes of the girl sitting in front my pew, it was all about psychiatric nursing–waah…weird lagi kaayo mi, kami ra tingali way klase basta saturday–it was all that was needed to get my hyperactive imagination to work…

as ive learned from paolo choelo earlier this week, insane people are the most free individuals, the are the ones who’ve been liberated from the choking and self-imposed norms of society…so i thought, then america is not the real ‘land of the free’, we need not travel far, for the true home of freedom just lies nextdoor, at the psychiatric ward of VSMMC, the home of the ‘free-est’ people her in our humble abode of cebu…

i even went as far as to commit a rather blasphemous thing in church by wishing in my head to get confined in the psychia ward and get a megadose of acetaminophen in order to die…god, i really am going to hell…on second thought though, i guess the devil might ban me from hell…he/she–well if its a sin to be gay, then by all means, THE DEVIL IS GAY!–wouldnt want me there, he/she hates competition!

just like what ruff said, god might have to make a separate dimension for me when i die…bwahahaha…

but then again, i still have not given up on my dream of attaining sainthood…i could just imagine my solemn canonization at the vatican, where i would suddenly perform my first miracle…a rain of rice…sacks of rice, yes, the rice would be inside sacks…

seriously, i would really love to be a saint…i even had an idea of bringing my classmates together with me to either basilan, mecca, pyongyang, or any other place where either christians or religion are not welcome…then we’d all start a prayer meeting in broad daylight and get gunned down…then we’d all become the saintly students of bsn iii-e, and then we’d have the feast of saint nito and companions, virgins and martyrs…char! (although the title virgin would be quiet questionable for some…or maybe most of the companions…)

anywayz, where was i?

i dont know…well, i really must be insane…

btw, considering that insane people cannot be held liable for their actions, could it also mean that insane people are not capable of committing sin–in the christian context–if thats the case, then maybe insanity is the way to salvation…let the host of the demented and mentally ill march on towards the pearly gates and recieve eternal life…

God! forgive me for all these blasphemous thoughts…i dont know as to what degree of sin am i commiting right now by posting all these things…but if somebody knows, then please, please tell me…and if you think that i truly am evil–although i think im not–then please do pray for me, like i said, i intend to be a saint, and maybe it would take your prayers to help me…char!

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